TAKE A DEEP BREATH, STRETCH YOUR LEGS LONG AS YOUR EXHALE

No longer able to grip the mat. Sweat running down your forearms. Feeling a strange trickle of sweat down your calf while your posterior is up and back in the air. The many beads of the salty liquid trickling down your body feel strange.  You realize you are sweating from some unknown pores in your body. It could be coming from anywhere at this point. The sweat tickles the hairs on your chest, your legs, your back. You try to forget about the tickling and re-focus your attention to your breath, to the stretching of your muscles. After what feels like 17 years but in actuality was no more than 30 seconds, you are instructed to let go of the pose and lie back to savasana. Back flat on the mat. The anterior surface of your body facing the sky. Sweet relief. This is typically when you are instructed to give one final breath, and take up space as you lie back, palms facing the sky.

SAVASANA

When I first started practicing yoga, savasan seemed strange and culty. If you do not know what it is, in short, it is a brief moment of stillness and meditation after completing a yoga session where you lie on your back, close your eyes, and simply stay put for several minutes. I remember feeling self-conscious, awkward, and uneasy when it came time to end the physical part of the yoga session and just lie there like a log.  The anxiety I would feel to lie still only underscores how badly I needed to include this in my practice.  

It took time for me to understand the purpose behind savasana. I do not claim to fully understand it now, but I can recall how infinitely more bizarre it seemed to me in the beginning. Often the instructor encourages you to take up space when settling into this final pose. The concept of taking up space for some may seem natural. Like, “of course! Take up space. I am made of matter.  How could I not take up space?!” I’ve learned over time that the idea of taking up space varies from person to person.  

UNEVEN SPACE

In the dead of Winter a few years ago, one of my favorite Chicago art museums, The Art Institute of Chicago, and one of my favorite music organizations, Pitchfork, joined forces to create an indoor musical festival event. When I saw the posting, I knew I had to go. This was right up my alley. After all, art decorates space and music decorates time - or so the famous saying goes. 

My younger brother, 6 years my junior, echoed my excitement for the festival so we purchased tickets for a day and met next one of the Lions on the grand stariwell in front of the Art Institute. After roaming around for a few hours in the beautiful building and listening to a few bands we liked we were physically tired.  We sat at a bench in the great hall to recharge with a Goose Island beer and absorb the art, the music, the beauty, the privilege. This was so Chicago -I call it being “Aggressively Chicago” and I loved it. Sipping on our beers, silently taking in the vibes, comfortable in each other's silence watching the passers by. Typical crowd. Hipstery, friendly looking trendy youths likely closer to my brother’s age than my own. After a few minutes of taking in the crowd, my brother broke our silence by saying “how crazy would it be if everything was meant for you.” He didn’t have to say anything else.  I knew exactly what he meant. Here we were. Two brown boys sitting on a bench in the Art Institute at an Pitchfork event.  Mostly everyone was white. We discussed it a bit more in a jolly, poke fun of the Whites kind of way, finished our beers, and continued to enjoy the event. 

I have to admit that later on, I thought about my brother’s comment more than I intended to. I don’t know if it was because I knew exactly what he meant or because I knew he felt the exact same way I felt at that moment.  It made me feel a sense of sadness to know that my younger brother has, is, and will feel that feeling of being out of place in many spaces the same way I have. We are and always will be the Other. I’ve come to terms with this years ago.  My interests are mine and I don’t have to fit into or not fit into the mold. I do what I like, and pursue my interests because I enjoy them. Fuck society and all that but the feeling persists when I go to a brewery event, a race, a music festival - most everyone is white. What my brother meant was - imagine living in a world where the majority of media, music, fashion, art  - you name it - was intended for your eyes. Because for us, that is a world we have to imagine.

EXHALO FORTIS

Lie on your back, take one final deep breath, stretch your legs and body long as you give your final exhale and BE SUERE to take up space. Namaste my fellow Others.