CHANGE

. . . LIKE WATER

As I sit and type this out in a coffee shop at the base of a nearby mountain in Tucson, Arizona, I am reminded of the time I was sitting on the floor of my studio apartment in Uptown - a north side neighborhood in Chicago. I was sitting there feeling overwhelmed. The helicopter flying over my neighborhood, my work cell phone constantly going off with emails, phone calls, appointment reminders, the metal pounding sound emanating from the radiators due to maintenance work in the building. This was the summer of 2020. A global pandemic, protests for equality right outside my door, boarded up storefronts, people lined up around the block in hopes of getting much needed food aid from the nearby church, plus a total lack of work life balance from the small company I worked for - a company that the pandemic outed as valuing profit over employee health. 

PANDEMIC

This was a time when a lot of changes were thrust upon society. Changes that society had difficulty accepting or understanding. Changes that I mostly thought were common sense. Changes implemented by public health authorities that were operating in the interest of, well, public health. Changes rightfully demanded by marginalized communities that simply wanted to live without fear of persecution due to the racist status quo of our society. I biked all over the city to attend BLM protests, donated money, I stayed 6 feet away, I wore a mask and followed public health guidelines to the best of my ability. I “stepped up” at work to help my small company continue on in uncertain times even though it meant going to Covid hotspots with little to no PPE. I worked more during this time and did not travel for vacation despite the low air fares that I noticed some take advantage of - these were the same people who claimed could not attend BLM protests due to Covid concerns.

JUST RUN

The only thing that kept me sane during this time was running. Running is so ingrained into my life that I feel lost without it. It truly functions as my own personal therapy. The Lakefront trail that runs along Lake Michigan was closed, gyms were closed, but nothing could take running away from me. I would sometimes run at night to avoid people. I wore my gaiter mask that I normally saved for cold winter runs. It was just me doing something simple that I enjoy. During this time I also developed home workouts and shared them online. I shared these workouts mostly to have something to do but I unexpectedly received a few positive responses from strangers online that appreciated the motivation and workout tips. This made me happy during a very difficult time. Something clicked inside of me.

DENOUEMENT

Fast forward to 2021. I moved into a larger apartment. A 2 bedroom so I could have an empty room specifically intended to be used as a Yoga room. An apartment I began to cover with my artwork and artwork from other’s I admire and appreciate. A true sanctuary. Leaps and bounds different from the cramped studio apartment I lived in. That old studio I leased for pragmatic reasons prior to the pandemic. Shortly after 2021 began, the small company I worked for sold to a large monstrous corporation. I worked hard during an uncertain time to help this small company survive the pandemic only to be given short notice to sign onto this giant company or be jobless. If the pandemic did not make it clear that I needed to switch careers, this sale certainly did. I happily refused the job offer. 

EXHALO FORTIS

That is when I decided to create EXHALO FORTIS. Selfishly it provides me with a creative outlet but I also wanted to document the progression and changes that this project goes through. I think it's important for you to see that changes do not happen overnight. I don’t expect this project to take off immediately or at all really.  I’m doing it because I truly enjoy it and because I believe taking care of your body will lead to better overall well being if approached with the right mindset.  That is the core of EXHALO FORTIS. Just as I believe this project will grow and improve, I believe my clients, friends, class participants, followers can grow and improve their lives when they make the intentional choice to change.

Since quitting my old job, I started this blog, obtained a nationally recognized group fitness instructor certification, participated in a paid 8 week personal training internship, and began privately training a few individuals prior to leaving Chicago. I am very proud of these accomplishments and grateful to those that have given me these opportunities.

Now I find myself across the country in the Southwest. I sublet my cozy Chicago apartment for the remainder of the lease, followed a potential lead at a studio that is close to my partner’s apartment in Tucson, and decided that a warm winter environment is great start to the next phase for EXHALO FORTIS and for me. I can run shirtless in January, see new plants along different trails, provide outdoor training, and fill my lungs with different air during my runs. 

CHANGE LIKE WATER

Over the past few years, I’ve learned that some changes are inevitable, they can be forced upon us and we are powerless from stopping those changes. A global pandemic, social changes, car accidents, illness you name it, it will likely happen and we have to adapt and change course. 

There are, however, some changes we can make that are within our control. Changes in attitudes, mindset, routines. We may not always have the luxury to change our physical environment but we can change our internal one. Focus on the changes you can control and less on those you cannot. That is what I’ve been doing since I started this adventure and it has led me to where I am right now. I genuinely feel as if things will be alright, no matter where I am because of this perspective. 

You can also make changes in your life. Building a routine that improves your physical well being is a good start. Finding an activity that you enjoy like yoga, biking, hiking, running, lifting, dancing, boxing, the list can go on and on. Find it, be consistent, own it, let it be a part of who you are. This will breed a lifelong commitment to your body and I believe it will help your mind find some peace. I’ll leave you with this Bruce Lee quotation because he is an absolute badass and it conveys my message: 

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend”

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Thank you so much for reading! Please share this post if it was compelling to you! I would very much appreciate it. Next up for me is officially getting my Personal Trainer Certification, looking for group fitness instructor gigs in Tucson, making workout videos so anyone can workout anywhere, making some cool EXHALO FORTIS shirts, and of course running and exploring around this beautiful part of the country. Funny enough, I learned from some local Tucsonas that the objective when going on a hike is to find a water source since it pours down from the mountains. I will find it and I will be it, I hope you can too. :)